Most of you that are following this blog have been a part of my email list ever since I stuck a piece of paper on an old clipboard that sat on my merch table back in 2005 - we've been through a 12 year musical journey together.
This year will be the first in 17 years that I won't be actively pursuing a music career. Yes, believe it or not, I went into a recording studio for the first time when I was just 7 years old. Next week I am turning 24 and I couldn't be more excited for what is in store for not only 2017, but this entire next part of my journey.
Since making the decision to put music on the back burner last May, I've had a lot of positive and negative feed, followed by a lot of questions.
Obviously, the most frequently asked question is "why?" and honestly there is a part of me that gets rather excited to share the answer because I feel so blessed by the way my path has merged. So to start, I am going to give a concise answer to that question right now.
I finally realized that ultimately my purpose on this earth was to be happy about life. Most importantly being happy by embracing the fact that the only real and fulfilling success in my life was going to come by simply being God's daughter, and doing whatever He called me to do; whether music, web design, moving back home, staying in Nashville, or whatever. The time came where I became so confident in that, and in the fact that I knew God would lead me down the best and most perfect road I could be on, that I laid down my dream of music at His feet and said "Ok, here I am, I trust You with my life."
The moment I did that, I truly became free. As heartbreaking and confusing as it was to initially put down this dream, it didn't take long before God was giving me new dreams and abundant blessings - none of it could I have ever seen coming. I never imagine my life without pursing a music career, I never believed I could be anything else, or that I would except myself (or that anyone else would except me) without music. The good news is - I was wrong, so very wrong.
In the past few months, I have been spending a lot of time in prayer talking to God and asking Him questions, one of the bigs ones being, why did I have to give up music? One night at church during worship he gave me this thought "I [God] never told you that you had to stop loving music, I just asked you to trust me with it." Once I had that answer I felt complete freedom and peace. I felt so relieved that I didn't have to hold a grudge against music or decline doing things that were musically related (like writing, or performing), that wasn't it all - what I didn't have to do was be unhappy and feel an overwhelming pressure pressing down on my life that came with pursing music, it was almost like a daily grievance. One of my mentors said to me recently, "we weren't meant to wake up and grieve every day." I feel as if those words couldn't ring truer and like that really had been my life for years. Since God started giving me this peace, I have continued to ask Him to open doors for music if it is His will, or to keep the doors closed if it's not. And guess what? He has opened so many doors for my Web Design business that I can barely keep up with my work! How's that for a surprise? And for a direct answer! Knowing that I have been in prayer about the direction I should go just confirms that He is leading my path and I am exactly where He wants me to be. It is pretty incredible. My faith last May was just the size of a mustard seed, but that was all I needed to start this journey and now my faith has just continued to grow.
So where am I headed next?
I am so excited about the growth in my business, and even more excited to pour myself into new projects, my clients, and to take even greater leaps into the opportunities that arise. I have quite a bit of traveling lined up for this year, too, (including two possible out-of-country trips) that will entail a lot of backpacking and hiking. I hope to make it back home to the Pacific Northwest this summer as well. I miss Washington dearly, but for now I know that God is asking me to stay in Nashville and let my roots continue to grow here. For those of you who know me, this is extremely difficult, as I am so close with my family! But I know that when God wants me somewhere, He'll put me there, just like He put me here in Nashville.
I am really looking forward to sharing this new journey and I am hoping to also start sharing other peoples inspiring stories and journeys here on this blog as well.
To close, I just want to say this...go do that thing. Whatever thing popped into your mind and pressed on your heart when you were just reading the word "dream" in the above paragraphs. Go do that. It's there on your heart for a reason.
Much love and many prayers for you all,